


I Will Try to Fix You

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Aftercare, Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, Blowjobs, College AU, Comfort, John Laurens - Freeform, Kissing, M/M, Mild descriptions of it, Nightmares, TRIGGER WARNING- mentions of abuse, john cares deeply for alex, lots of fluff, there might be smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 17:13:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7901023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton has a terrible relationship with his father. He doesn't understand why. He finally gets to be safe when he moves away for college. </p>
<p>John Laurens is his roommate; his adorable, attractive caring beyond belief roommate. That's where things start to turn around for Alexander.</p>
<p>(By the way, there's a trigger warning on this story. There's mild descriptions of abuse so please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Try to Fix You

It was move in day at Croasman University. The day many people dread, when the sudden realization hits you that you won't be with your parents every day and night anymore. 

Alexander Hamilton couldn't be happier. This was his escape. He was finally safe, at least for a while. 

"Name?" the woman at the small, grey folding table asked him, giving him a kind smile.

"H-Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton." he spoke quietly, eyes following her hands as she scanned through a giant list of names.

"Ah! Here we are, Mr.Hamilton. You'll be in house C, room 207. Welcome to Crossman." She said excitedly, thrusting out a pice of paper with the room number on it. The action made him flinch a bit. He took it with a lighthearted smile. All he had was two suitcases and a small duffle bag full of stuff. It was all his father would buy him. 

He navigated through the grounds, eventually finding house C. His eyes stayed glued to the ground the whole time. The small elevator took him to the second floor, and he- after a twenty minute search caused by taking a wrong turn, he found his room.

Half of it was already decorated. Pastel bed sheets, tiny floral designs, innuendos of music and theatre all filled the non-vacant side. His nose scrunched up. Wasn't dorming supposed to be by gender? But he shrugged it off. Anything was better than home. 

He put the grey quilt on the small bed, hung a framed picture of his mother above where his pillow laid. He placed his clothes in the small cubby, and littered his desk with writing supplies. This was all he had to his name. He glanced between his side and his roommates, a little heartbroken at how boring his own side was. He sat on his bed, pulling his knees into his chest. His head fell forward, forehead resting on his knees. He didn't sleep much anymore, too afraid to. 

Alex blacked out for a bit, not really sleeping but more so slipping into the inbetween of sleep and awake. 

The door to his room flew open, making him jump.

"Oh! Oh my gosh hi! You must be my roommate, I'm John, John Laurens. Art major, theatre geek." A wide smile was plastered on his face.

Alexander's breath hitched as he took the boy in. He was tall, freckles littered his face, his long curly hair was dyed a pastel lavender color. He was beautiful. 

"Alexander.. Alex is fine too. Creative writing." He says shakily, looking the boy in the eye.

"No last name? I bet that means you'll be really famous." John grins wider.

"I will not use my father's last name." Alex spat, his tone suddenly harsh. John's face falls and he looks to the ground.

"I didn't know.. I'm sorry."

"No no, I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so rude. I love your hair by the way, it really suits you."

John blushed deeply as he walked to his bed and sat down.

"Really? Thank you so much Alex. You're really quite kind."

This made Alex blush too. 

They spent the next hours getting to know each other. 

John was a art major, and an incredibly talented one at that. He grew up in New York City, which explained all of the playbills he had hanging on his side of the room. He was incredibly enthralled with the things Alex told him. 

"I think this is going to be an amazing school year for us, Alex. Here I was, worried that my roommate would be dreadful. Let me tell you, I wouldn't want to room with anyone else." 

~

It was already a week into the school year. It was one o'clock in the morning and Alex laid on his stomach, facing the photo of his mother.

"Alex?" John's voice said suddenly, startling him. 

"Shit- why are you still up?" Alex mumbled.

"I'd like to ask the same about you. Alexander, the whole time we've lived together I haven't seen you sleep once."

Alexander shrugs, though John can't see it,

"Bad things happen when I sleep." He says bluntly. 

"Do you want to talk about those things?"

"Not really."

"Can we talk about something else then?"

"That depends.."

"Who is the woman in the picture that you always stare at?"

There was a burst of silence. Alexander's bed creaking a bit as he squirmed anxiously.

"It's.. my mother. Well, this is her before she passed away. I think I was a few months old when this picture was taken."

John looked over at him, 

"Alex I'm so sorry, she was beautiful. I bet she loved you with all of her heart."

"She's the only one who ever has."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"My father surly doesn't! Or else, why would h-" 

Something caught in the back of Alex's throat. John didn't need to know. 

"It's alright, now could you please go to sleep? I'm concerned about your health love."

"I'm not sleeping unless I pass out."

This scared John, but he was too tired to keep arguing. He just hoped Alex was taking care of himself. 

~

Each day John added something small to Alex's side of the room.  
It started off with a string of fairy lights. Art projects soon joined, along with a Polaroid that he and Alex had taken on their first day. 

Alexander loved everything John did. He was his best friend. 

He finally wasn't afraid to sleep anymore.

That was a mistake.

 

-  
"I cannot believe you!" his father's voice boomed. Alex shrunk down in the corner, cowering away from him. 

"A boy?! You love a boy?" he struck him on the head.

"You have another thing coming for you if you think I'm gonna let you date this piece of shit!" he points over to John, who was standing against the wall, trying to be strong. He walked over towards John,

"Don't you dare hurt him!" Alex screamed.  
-

 

"Alex! Alex wake up!" 

Alex bolted upright, eyes wide. He coughed, sweat dripping all over his body.

"Alexander.. what happened?" The lights in their room were on, and John was kneeling beside his bed.

"It was.. it was nothing. Don't worry, I'm alright."

"Alexander that wasn't nothing. You were screaming, you were crying your eyes out and screaming. Who was trying to hurt me? You kept yelling 'don't hurt John'."

Alexander sniffled, and grabbed John's hand, pulling him into the bed with him. John leaned back against the headboard and Alex joined him, resting his head on John's shoulder.

"I have.. really bad nightmares because of my father. He.. and you have to promise you won't tell anyone about this.. he hits me. A lot. Sometimes it's with his hand, sometimes it's other things. H-he doesn't know that I'm bi. He'd fucking kill me if he knew. But I was dreaming about it. I was dreaming about him hitting me, and you were there. He tried to hurt you John." Alexander's voice broke, and he started crying again.

It was a lot of information for John to process. He pulled Alexander into his chest holding him tight and dunking his back as he cried.

"Shh, Alex it's okay. He won't hurt you anymore. I won't let him. I'll protect you." He spoke quietly.

"He's gonna find out that I'm bi. He's gonna find out that I'm in love with a boy and he's gonna kill me."

"Alex can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, always."

"Alexander... I'm gay."

"You are?" 

"Mhm, and coming out was never something I wanted to do. You're the first person I've ever told."

Alex started crying again, and he clung tightly onto John's shirt. 

"That's going to make what I was about to say a whole lot easier to say."

"Tell me my love."

"The boy I'm in love with is you."

John looked down at him, eyes wide.

"Alexander..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so pathetic. I don't deserve you I-"

John cut him off with a kiss. Alex froze for a moment, but melted into his touch. Alexander pulled away, cheeks a deep red from blushing. 

"I've never done that before." Alex says shyly,

"Wait, seriously? You've never kissed anyone before?" John asks, a bit surprised. Alexander quickly shook his head,

"N-no, but I'm really happy you were my first." 

They kissed again.

"Can I ask you something?" John looks at Alexander, who gives a small smile,

"Of course."

"Will you... will you be my boyfriend?"

"In every universe, in every version of existence, yes."

For the first time in a long time, Alexander felt loved. 

~

The two boys did absolutely everything together. They loved all of the simplistic things. Going on walks, cuddling, watching the stars. But to Alex, nothing quite matched John's freckles. They were constellations of their own. Alexander made the effort to kiss every single one of them constantly. John loved it. He loved the feeling of Alexander's soft lips lightly dancing all over his face. 

John always did Alex's hair. Sometimes it was in pigtails, other times it was in a pretty braid. He looked good in everything. He'd always softly massage his scalp first. He deserved gentle touches. 

In their second semester, they finally had a class together. Personal Finance. They sat together at the back of the room, a tall boy with insanely curly hair sat next to Alexander.

"H-hi. It's alright if I sit here, right?" His accent was thick, French. Alexander grinned,

"Of course! I'm Alexander, this is my boyfriend John." John gave a little wave. The boy laughed,

"I'm Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Laf is fine." 

John looked a bit relieved when Laf shortened his name. The other was a bit of a mouthful. 

"You're French? That's a long way to come for school." John says. Laf grins,

"I moved here with my grandmother. She wanted to see America, I wanted to expand my knowledge. So, here I am!" he said cheerfully.

"Well, we're gonna show you everything we can! We were gonna go get a bite to eat after class. Do you wanna go wirh us?"  
Alexander asked.

~

The three boys got in late that night. They had gone off campus and gotten burgers and milkshakes, and then spent way too much time in Target. John bought Alexander a bunch of books, even though Alex had begged him not to. But John loved when Alex read to him. He loved watching his lips form around each word. So he bought them anyway. 

"You know, I think you were looking up at me while sucking on that straw on propose." John smirked, looking over at Alex. 

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Alexander said shyly, smirking back at him.

"Really? That's a shame, I was gonna say, if you're in that mood maybe I could provide something better than a plastic straw." 

Alex didn't mean it, but he let out a moan. 

"So what'll it be baby? Do you want me to get you another straw, or do you want me to take my pants off?" John traced Alex's lips with his finger.

"I-I've never done it before. What if I'm bad..?" he says nervously.

"I'll help you out baby girl. Besides, with lips like those? There's no way you could go wrong."

"O-okay." he blushed.

"If you get uncomfortable, if you feel at any time like you need to stop, you need to tell me alright?" 

Alexander nodded, still a little nervous. John slowly unbuttoned Alex's shirt, letting his fingers brush softly over his skin. He shuddered softly, he always got chills when John touched him. But this was different, the whole feeling of this was different. Something in the way John touched him was elicit, it seemed more needing, more urgent.

Sure, Alexander had dreamed about it before, both of the men had. But the thought of temptation was always eased in the privacy of their shower, or under the covers before the other woke up. Well, at least John thought Alexander was sleeping. Usually he wasn't, but he was too shy about the matter to ever bring it up. 

John began to take off his own pants, but Alex quickly stopped him,

"Wait! Let me." Alexander kneels down, letting his fingers gently unzip the zipper on John jeans. He slips them down, letting his hands brush along the sides of his legs. John was wearing boxers with little green dinosaurs on them,

"Nice choice, I think these are my personal favorites." Alexander smirks, and pulls them down. Alex once again let out a moan that he didn't mean to happen. 

"Take it in your hand." John breathed out. Alexander looked up for a brief moment, and then back at John's cock. He wrapped his hand around it, and licked at the tip. 

"Oh fuck." John moaned, looking down at him at watching him. He took the tip between his lips and sucked on it softly, he looked up at John as he did so. John's fingers found their way into Alex's hair. He took a little more in, letting his tongue swirl around the tip and a bit of the shaft. He pulled off, licking from his balls all the way up, and then once again took him further into his mouth. Alexander felt his own cock leaking in his pants. He used his free hand to palm himself while he worked on trying to get all of John's cock into his mouth. The tip hit the back of his throat, making John let out a whimper,

"Baby girl I'm-" 

Alexander felt it running down his throat before he John got to finish his words. He came hard, and Alexander found himself cumming too. Alex pulled off, standing back up with weak legs. His face was a mess. His hair was all over the place, his mouth sticky and wet from saliva and cum. 

"Fuck, you're so beautiful." John mumbles. He wraps his arms around Alex's waist, and kisses him hard. He walkes them blindly over to his bed, hehe pushes him down softly. John removes Alexander's pants and wet boxers, throwing them over to the side.  
Alex was imeadietly uncomfortable. He hated being naked, he hated the fact that you could still see some marks from his father. 

"Where does he hit you." John speaks quietly.

"W-what?" 

"Where does he hit you?" 

"My face." Alex responds quietly, unsure of what John is about to do.

He places his lips softly on his forehead and begins leaving soft little kisses, he does the same to his cheeks.

"Where else?"

 

Alexander points to his upper arms, and John leaves kisses there too. Alex mentions his back next, and John turns him over. There were little bruises and lashes. They made John want to cry, his baby didn't deserve this.

"You... deserve...all.. of the love... in the world. You deserve... to be happy... to be safe.. to be taken care of." John speaks between eack kiss. At this point, Alexander was crying. No one had truly cared about him since his mother died. He couldn't believe how incredibly caring John was. He never knew he could be so in love with anyone. He turned himself around and climbed into John's arms. 

John was scared that Alex would decline what he was about to offer him. He knew that as soon as the school year was over, he'd have to go back home and so would Alex. He couldn't let his prince get hurt again. 

"Alex baby, can I ask you something?" John says, swiping away a tear from Alex's cheek with his thumb. Alexander just nods and sniffles,

"Well, I called my dad yesterday and I asked him if we still owned a little condo up in New York. I made some arrangements and I'm allowed to use it whenever I want to. So I was wondering... if you'd like to move in with me?"

Alexander looked up at him with wide eyes,

"You... really?" 

"Mhm, baby, I can't let you go back home. I can't let you leave my side. We can be happy there, we can-"

"Yes. John, yes! I'll move in with you I'll do it in a heartbeat!" Alexander practically shouted, wrapping his arms around John tight,

"You really. are an angel." he whispered. John blushed hard and kissed the top of his head.

"You're my everything Alexander. You're my whole world and I can't wait to spend every day waking up next to you. I can't wait to wake up early and surprise you with breakfast and stay up late watching movies and cuddling. You're all I'll ever need baby girl."

Alexander burried his head into John's neck and grinned. 

"Thank you. I can't ever thank you enough for doing this. John I was so scared that I was going to have to go back home. I was so sad that I was going to have to be without you. You started kissing me in all the places he has hurt me. I couldn't help but cry. You're so gentle and you're always making sure that in comfortable before we do thinks and you have to be the sweetest person ever. You're so beautiful and I don't know what I did to deserve you. I'm so fucking happy that you're mine, I can never fully express just how much I love you."

Alex kissed him softly, stroking his cheek with his thumb. 

"I love you baby girl."

"I love you sweet peach."

"Always and forever, Alex?"

"Always and forever John. I will never ever stop loving you. That's impossible." 

Alexander was no longer scared. He no longer feared the school year ending. Now he couldn't wait for it to be over. This was a new beginning for him. He was fully ready to spend the rest of his life with John. 

John still could not comprehend how he got so lucky.


End file.
